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+ 1 - 0 | § It's getting hot again

Slowly, it's starting to turn into Summer outside.

I believe I've described the experience of a Tucson summer before.

I only recently realized this, but they tend to make me more introverted than usual.  It's not so much that I want to be away from people, more like I become less inclined to interact with them.  I want to watch someone surf down a slide on a trashcan lid, dance to funky music in the living room, walk through a river that the street has turned into.  I want mobs of insanity drifting past me, silhouetted by bleeding sunsets.  Sit outside of a computer lab at 3 in the morning, feel the wind and watch it form tornadoes of leaves and dust in the corner.

Take a back seat, and watch the world drift by.


+ 1 - 0 | § Work, like anything else, is in the eye of the beholder.

I spent most of today bug squashin'.  Usually monotonous, but today I was exceptionally on my game... It's weird.  Sometimes when I'm wailing down the righteous fury of functionality upon my code, I can't help but imagine myself as a ninja, armed with a couple of flyswatters, doing mad, maniacal battle with  a horde of invasive, parasitic insects in various degrees of size and ferocity.  Swoop, swoop, slash, duck as one flies by my ear.  With dark vengeance I wreak my havok until they all fall, bruised, battered, broken and defeated, and the very earth swallows them up.  Shortly, from their remains spring tiny flowers and mushrooms, and the world, ridden of this accursed infestation, is whole and beautiful once again, as it was originally designed by the Creator.

+ 1 - 0 | § Linear

A quick note to inform the world at large:  Tonight/tomorrow morning, at 1:02 and 3 seconds AM, it will be

01:02:03 04/05/06, a moment of linearity which happens only once a century.

The other hip one will happen in about 3 years, at

12:34:56 07/08/09 

 I'll probably be sleeping, but someone tells me if the world goes two-dimensional or something.


+ 0 - 1 | § A newt?

I got better.

I appreciate the good thoughts, and I'm sorry I didn't respond, but I was... overwhelmed.  It's one thing to compound ass with... well... more ass, it's quite another to endure it all in the company of those who care, constantly choosing whether you have the energy to wear the happy-mask, or whether it would take less to suck it up and endure the worried looks of those close enough to care.

My solution was pretty simple.  I broke down Tuesday.  Too much energy was being focused on holding myself together, there wasn't really any left over for solving any problems.  So I just fell apart, and once all that energy was released, I put myself back together and set about tackling the teeny-tiny things right up to the big uglies.

I also wandered parking lots with Andrew, who I'd IM'd the full explanation of my burnout while we were sitting 5 feet from eachother at work, listening to a "morning blues" soundtrack, and we compared notes on the sheer assitude of our weeks.  He offered observations without suggestions, and conversation without any concerned looks, and I felt better.

And Jenny, goddamn if Muppets didn't sound like the greatest idea in the world.  I just hit cave-dwelling mode hardcore, otherwise I woulda been all over that action.